My entire net worth is in third order Rapture derivatives. If the chance of “the chance of “the chance of the Rapture exceeds 5%” exceeds 5%” exceeds 5%, i lose my house

Best Buy girl: -does well in a phone booth -lateral quickness -high motor -good gap scheme fit Potential late 1st rounder or early day 2 IOL for Texans

he just like me fr

FUCK YOU CANADA 🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🦅🦅🦅🦅

WE JUST KICKED YOUR F****** A**

so is jane street also the reason you have zero bitches?

TRADE: Lions trading RB David Montgomery to Texans in exchange for a fourth-round pick, a seventh-round pick and OL Juice Scruggs. (via Ian Rapoport, Tom Pelissero, Mike Garafolo)

ooooh I’m Charles Leclerc. I make 40 million dollars a year to be Ferrari’s golden boy. I get to celebrate marrying my model wife by driving universally beloved, vintage Ferrari cars around my gorgeous, scenic hometown where I am a local hero. Fuck you.

I wonder if she likes younger dudes who have no money

“we use bloomberg here, potter. not yahoo finance like your friends the weasleys. they’ve probably never even seen a terminal”

then explain to me how i’m married to the game

I just watched this 20 times in a row 😂🤣

Hey Iran, I'll give you the exact location of the pilot and claim my $90,000 His exact location is with the Air Force Pararescue team who is blowing you the fuck up

*dialing into our morning meeting* “Morning, stocks are down slightly after Trump announced a whole civilization will die tonight."

One of the dumber things you hear lately, from a lot of supposedly non-dumb people, is “stocks and bonds are now trading positively correlated so you now desperately need this other investment that’s way way more correlated with stocks than are bonds.” Those investments are the

Hoe just called me a narcissist so I googled the meaning and it sounded like a real nigga to me

The Dallas #Cowboys are +2200 to win the Super Bowl this year. For those of you who don’t understand how sports betting works, it means if you put $100 on them, you’d be losing $100.

“That’ll be $11.42. Would you like to round up to help Great Britain?”