Dreams that I pooped out my mouth

Had a dream we visited my old friend andhe had his extended family over and everybody had a thick printout of Instagram and tiktok memes

Trash collectors are working on MLK day wtf lol

MLK would've wanted us to collect trash and play NFL football on his birthday

romo: i hate football jim. always have. i wanted to be a dancer but my father forbid it. and my mother just watched silently as he crushed my dreams. oh i wouldve been the most graceful dancer youve ever seen jim nantz: mahomes doing a little dancing of his own in the pocket,

Takedown? 🧐

miles?!?? tell me how many washing machines that is!!!!!

So amazing to me that girl scout cookies have not gone woke

How bad could it possibly be to look at the sun on solar eclipse once every 20 fucking years. Let us look at the sun give me a fucking break it's fine. I'm gonna look at it

Can you tell how fat a guy is just by looking at his shoes??

Shout out to everyone who's been posting even though I haven't been around to fave your shit

women be like "I want a sensitive man" then tell him he has an ugly cry

for mothers day next year we're calling it mamua new guinea

Last day of mental health month

Son calls Moana "boat movie"

You don't hear anything about Chinese music. 2 billion ppl, no music

It's come to my attention that honey booboo is in nursing school

What's the 2024 equivalent of biggy's "phone bill about 2 g's flat, no need to worry my accountant handles that"

Asking my single friends for parenting advice in the group chat #listening #learning