"business-casual tits" has been added to the lexicon

See also: “moving class outside”

an awkward hair length detaches you from your ego and brings you closer to god

Does Sisyphus forget of his boulder

somewhere an aging bartender with a bun and flannel is gnawing at the bars of his enclosure trying to top this with candied bacon

if you don’t have time to trad-mill your own flour for chocolate chip cookies, store bought is fine

"i don’t have kids but im an ally" this is how im referring to myself instead of childfree from now on 😭

The best way to find typos is to reread the draft you’ve already circulated.

the terror of newly driving has mostly faded at this point, which has opened up the new existential horror I felt driving to work this morning feeling like this guy

just realized today marks a year since my ex attempted to break into my apartment with a screwdriver in the middle of the night, and I almost forgot because I spent last night baking cookies and being loved properly. #itgetsbetter lmfao

times square olive garden!! times square olive garden!!

“Literary non-hottie” put it on my tombstone

this book is so freaking odd it might change my life but anyway it’s my lunch break

everyone needs to get really cool about print magazines again really quickly because I have less than a year to become her

my reaction seeing that the discourse of the day is the AP stylebook change

manifesting that mfa real hard right now ngl

kinda need a beany garlicky creamy toasty nyt cooking recipe