Uri (@_zeroyalbaumer_) 's Twitter Profile
Uri

@_zeroyalbaumer_

#UriNation

ID: 3181044542

calendar_today30-04-2015 22:33:36

2,2K Tweet

999 Followers

111 Following

Uri (@_zeroyalbaumer_) 's Twitter Profile Photo

Close your eyes, Rebecca. The wind is blowing in your direction as you sell your body in the name of Christ Jesus our Lord and savior.

Uri (@_zeroyalbaumer_) 's Twitter Profile Photo

Leave me be, Rebecca. For the dawn brings the reality of my nightmares forth and I am in no mood to wash the dry semen out of your denim skirt.

Uri (@_zeroyalbaumer_) 's Twitter Profile Photo

I wish I was a skinny blonde teen with big titties so I can make out with other skinny blonde teens with big titties under the pale moonlight.

Uri (@_zeroyalbaumer_) 's Twitter Profile Photo

Big breasted pale white bitch strutting on the western concrete under the sky that God provided. Let your fish flaps spread open its warmth and suffocate us until we are no more.

Uri (@_zeroyalbaumer_) 's Twitter Profile Photo

If your pantaloons don't smell like uncooked hot dogs dipped in tuna fish then don't bother coming home tonight, Rebecca. Rent is due tomorrow.

Uri (@_zeroyalbaumer_) 's Twitter Profile Photo

For the past month Uri has been on horseback riding through the Kentucky countryside searching for underage high school cheerleaders to caress as his sweaty hairy chest glistened under the Rebel Sun.

Uri (@_zeroyalbaumer_) 's Twitter Profile Photo

Global warming would never compare to the importance of a strong, hard penis penetrating a bored housewife as she sits on a folding ladder while semen is being pumped directly into her vagina as her husband sits at a desk contemplating suicide.

Uri (@_zeroyalbaumer_) 's Twitter Profile Photo

I was just thinking of the time I ejaculated inside my cousin Brenda. Get me some tissue, Rebecca. I'm gonna watch The Notebook for the 50th time.

Uri (@_zeroyalbaumer_) 's Twitter Profile Photo

The world seizes to exist when I ejaculate inside a relative, Rebecca. So yes this family reunion is very important to me.

Uri (@_zeroyalbaumer_) 's Twitter Profile Photo

He rode into town on his stallion, shirtless as his chest hair glistened in the sun while a negro followed him singing hymns the Lord taught him.

Uri (@_zeroyalbaumer_) 's Twitter Profile Photo

Quarentine day 9: Dear Abigail, the parlor is no longer open and Mother has locked herself in her bedroom. I've decided to stand outside and watch the horses prance around in the fields as I sip on what remains of my Steel Reserve. Sincerely, Uri. P.S. send toilet paper

Uri (@_zeroyalbaumer_) 's Twitter Profile Photo

Quarentine, Day 11: Dear Abigail, I have been inside this cabin for far too long. Mother is desperate for a whiskey. I slapped her and said "Quarentine". Things are dire. Sincerely, Uri. P.S. send Whiskey