Now is the perfect time to openly dig any graves you may need for the coming year and call it halloween decor

oh no babe don't establish healthy limits and boundaries with me ur so sexy aha 🙈

the fuck is x?

is it kinda gay that I'm bisexual?

Words on a screen mean so much until they don't

just walked out if the new exorcist movie what a waste of perfectly good mushrooms and yeah I'm unemployed rn why do you ask nosey much jeez

i ain't afraid of no ghosts but any more than that would be pretty spooky I guess

*pronounces "catastrophe" like cat ass trophy*

i miss those adorable murder hornets from back in the day

never do tomorrow what you can do at some indefinite point in time later

If it wasn’t for my mil gifting me tons of bath & body works lotion I wouldn’t be able to survive the zombie apocalypse Zombie 1: smells like peach blossom wine party Zombie 2: no brains here

acab includes gym teachers

My kids are too old for trick-or-treating maybe I need some new kids.

The most unrealistic thing about the movie Halloween is that those kids didn’t complain about not going trick-or-treating

thanksgiving is just spooky halloween

my personality type is DMFK

𝒩𝒪 𝓜𝓞𝓜, I wouldn't jump off a bridge just because everyone else is doing it, I'd jump off as emotional support

horror movie where you slowly become your own ghost

Singing Papa's Got A Brand New Bag while changing an ostomy isn't part of proper patient care... APPARENTLY.