Happiest of birthdays to our magical leader! #HappyBirthdayRachel Rachel Miner

Here are the synonyms for coitus, incase you have heard this process called by a different name : copulation, fornication, intimacy,

lovemaking, procreation, relations, reproduction, birds and the bees, facts of life, carnal knowledge, coupling, screwing. How you and your

significant other choose to engage in coitus is entirely up to you and we do not need, nor do we want, to hear about it. Please do not send

pictures, emails, texts, tweets, dms, Facebook messages, snail mail, or carrier pigeons about this step of the process. We will however

share the tips and secrets about the best way to get pregnant for the 10th time after this step! 1) Lay with legs above your head for 20

minutes; if your feet and legs go numb, its fine, a limp is fashionable these days. 2) Eat the 9 lemons you dance with on the full moon.

I hope you did not throw them away, otherwise you have to start this whole process again. 3) If you are hoping for a boy, sing Lynyrd

Skynyrd’s “Simple Man”. If you are hoping for a girl, sing Stevie Wonder’s “Isn’t She Lovely”. But, you must sing the songs in Spanish and

sign them in American Sign Language. 4) Have a friend or family member give you a parsley plant. You cannot ask them to give you a parsley

plant, so they either need to kythe that you need this parsley plant, or you need to relay this information to them through charades. If you

do not what it means to kythe, you should read “A Wrinkle in Time” by Madeleine L’Engle. 5) Speaking of books, you will need to constantly

read aloud in the direction of your stomach if you hope to get pregnant for the tenth time. Do not read children’s stories. Books like

“War & Peace”, “East of Eden”, “The Fountainhead”, and “Swann’s Way” are acceptable choices, but your best bet is to read any novel written

by Christopher Moore or Neil Gaiman. You can check these books out of the library when you are there researching the deities. In conclusion

the process for getting pregnant the tenth time will be time consuming and mildly disgusting, but it will be well worth it when you are

holding your tenth baby in your arms, surrounded by your other 9 children, whom you have completely neglected during this conception process

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