Friday March 17th 8pm is full! Tickets going fast for 10:30 featuring JUST FOR LAUGHS vet Derek Seguin plus fellow Just-For-Laughians Morgan O'Shea Carly Baker, Portland Maine Comedy Fest alum @_simonecomedy_, Aseem! & nazeer! $15/$10st, tix comedynest.com

barking outside for JFL New Faces to try and get a spot.

I finally get why they call it the United Kingdom. Because they’re all united in hating my stand up comedy

California sober?? Try being Afghan sober (I only do black tar heroin)

A grown man saying no homo is literally the gayest thing I’ve ever heard.

Water feels like a Monster energy drink when you haven’t had it in 3 days

Kirkland Signature needs to start its own culinary school

Wow he got both covers in the same month 👏

Leonard Cohen finishes writing “Hallelujah,” stands up from the piano, calls a close friend on the phone and says “I think I’ve just written the perfect song for the sad montage in Shrek.”

There’s always some guy right outside the public bathroom on the most important business call of his life

y’all remember when mike tyson didn’t know that hasbulla is a grown man😭😭

First the mermaid now this!!!! #Eclipse2024

Walking into an eye doctors office 5 minutes after the eclipse and going “I know. I know”

You know a comedian is good when he/she is good & sucks ass at the same time

Me, at every single shit open mic ever:

“AI is coming for our jobs” I would love to see an AI robot sell adderall to its nephew’s friends

Just said a joke and heard crickets. Crickets laughing their asses off

ChatGPT at a comedy show: this is side-splitting!