it's already priced in, everything, all of it, past, present, future, the infinite expanse of the universe, you're priced, i'm priced, we are all priced, in

First protein cigarette will go hard

nonchalant? bro i meow back to cats

It’s all okay when you have a lil cat laying on you

More Minnesota daycare fraud

“Ahhh I’m a bartender at sports bar and I don’t know how tv remotes work”

i think humans are meant to lay in bed with the love of their life all day on Sundays. ❤️‍🔥

giving claude access to draftkings

A lion would never drive under the influence, but a Tiger Wood.

All this time, the Illuminati was just AIPAC lol.

Me if I ever become the CEO of Costco

top 10 bangers of all time

[walking into my intervention] lmao nightmare blunt rotation

I bring a sort of “this isn’t actually urgent” vibe to the workplace that managers don’t like

NASA Plays Incredible April Fools' Joke Of Once Again Pretending To Go To The Moon buff.ly/advexBS

People get a real job and start posting Instagram captions like “Q1 2026”

You know Porsche has a strong brand because they didn't have to change the name of the 911

I’m such an idiot I bought 2 dozen eggs right at the top

the problem with parents is that they are undiagnosed