Thank u to the Philadelphia Phillies and Kyle Schwarber specifically for giving me a win tonight to restore my faith in why I watch sports in the goddamn first place

Has me in fucking stitches every single time

If this is it… Thank you Captain. #Isles

That's my beautiful, gorgeous, talented SON. Can't wait to see what he does next 💙🧡

Mamdani: if you have a house in NYC that you don’t live in that is worth over $5 million, you have to pay an extra tax on it Guy from my grade school who is now a Suffolk County police officer:

John Kruk in a suit looks like someone who’s been advised by a judge to not represent themself in court.

i love my country of philadelphia

WHEELS UP BABY GET YOUR RIBLESS ASS IN HERE WE NEED YOU!!!

devastating for cameron winter

I love when a Schwarbomb comes when I absolutely need it 🥲

What probably happened: Harry Kalas’ ghost has cursed the Philadelphia Phillies. Conspiracy theory: Castellanos secretly hired an Etsy witch to curse the Philadelphia Phillies after his chaotic departure. #Phillies

times square margaritaville

Runs in the family I guess

life for the phillies lately :/

The plan?

This is simultaneously insidiously right-wing coded and also the plot line for a big budget “Purge” porn parody à la “Pirates.”

“our cameras are being blocked by a big head…. not adolis’, his is fine” LMAOO