Noah Kahan re-recording half his discography with everyone and their mother is genius though. Guy hustled for years and now he's making sure he secures the bag. You can't be a one hit wonder when all the wonders are on your hits

Can you tell I'm experiencing some sleeping issues

Growing up is apologising to your mother for all the times you said 'I don't care' when she asked what you wanted for dinner. The woman wasn't asking your preference, she was asking for a LIFELINE

Forget everyone's group chat names it's all about the unhinged group chat PHOTOS. Here's my favourite. Will not be taking questions at this time.

Can't wait for the documentary to drop on this. Missing Middleton: Dude Where's My Kate?

Everyone I know after I bring them into the Kate Middleton conspiracy circle

Think my Spotify is having a stroke

Of course I'm familiar with The Tortured Poets Department!

babe are you okay? you haven't said that's that me espresso once today..

Just found out that we've genuinely had an order passed through House of Lords to extend licensing hours for alcohol if Eng/Scot reach the semi-finals & finals of the Euros. What a nation we truly are

The most jarring part of hitting your 30s is all these mild female acquaintances you have on social media changing their surnames when they get married and you have to figure out who the hell they are

Ticket inspector on the train this morning. Told a guy he was confiscating his ticket, guys starts kicking off. "I''m not trying to offend you sir but you've added a 16-17 railcard and I don't think you're that young are you? When were you born?" "1962"

nhl goalies when they don’t know where the puck is

Rushed on a saturday morning for a scan miles away at 10.10am . The guy hasn't turned up and won't be here for at least 15 minutes?? I understand appointments run late but to not even COME INTO WORK?

The drama over the it ends with us film is cracking me up because you couldn't PAY me to watch any version of that book. I was so pissed I'd wasted my holiday reading it, I dumped it at the hotel and still feel bad some poor unsuspecting guest may have read that drivel as well

Me: I think I'll dedicate this weekend to all my life admin, accounts and job search My broadband: sorry we don't work weekends

I truly need better impulse control because why have I bought mcfly vs busted tickets when I'm unemployed and don't even like them that much

Discovered today that olives have the same chemical as cat nip. Why did I make this discovery? Because my cat who hates all human food shoved her entire body into my olive ciabatta lunch

Infuriates me when you see photos of uber rich people's homes and they're just....meh. you have endless pots of money and your house is still just magnolia white walls and grey carpet?

Demand Timely Coroners Inquest for Dena - Sign the Petition! chng.it/PkLYk748nK via Change.org UK