Somehow didn't lost most of my money to bills this month. Am I adulting right?

I went into Whole Foods today and all I walked away with is feeling guilty for cheating on Wegmans, and a cannoli.

Capitalism created the poverty that we now see.

Twitter has been such a disaster, I've moved my sh*tposting to Facebook. Zuckerberg gets all of my tweet ideas now, not Musk.

"Those who can't teach" Wrong! Have you ever worked with economists or politicians? They do way less than teachers.

I use Tinder but mostly to try out pics and bios for other apps. If I get any matches, they get to hear my new bits.

Dating apps be like: "You missed a potential match." Clearly I didn't if I swiped left on them

My bosses tell me we need more in-person meetings while they are working from home, in their PJs, petting their pets.

Suicide is never the answer. Your pets will miss you.

They're the champs, trophy or not. It just sucks that their state is so against them.

I want to post my upcoming shows, but Instagram keeps messing it up

Adam Schefter is basically a home wrecker for the Packers and Aaron Rodgers. Always had to stir the pot.

Doing stand-up comedy is such a weird journey. Everyone moves at their own pace and that ok.

The hypocrisy of sports media and journalism stinks to high hell right now. How Angel Reese is being covered is obviously different. Caitlin Clark has been disrepectful this whole season. It's cool if Clark runs her mouth but as soon Reese does it back to her she's the villain?

How are you still gonna get mad at me when you didn't want me? That's like a Pokémon hurting itself when it's confused and still blaming the other Pokémon.

Comedian Zakary Haines Pain-182 & Bonus FFM Threesome story! Enjoy our fun interesting chat! He performs live around the DC area, jokes about himself, sex, dating, love on the spectrum, and his disability. “Sex jokes can be tricky to deliver." buzzsprout.com/1599808/129674…

If it wasn't obvious, I'm not on this platform anymore because someone's ego was too big. Check out my linktree for all my links, including Threads 👀

Literally redownloaded Twitter to remind everyone what a total piece of shit Lou.

Saw this post on another app. Just came on here just to say I'm donating money to Rescue Mission for doing good for my homecity. Disrespectfully go f**k yourself libs of tiktok.