If I cut you off, chances are you handed me the scissors.

The only thing I like about winter is when it snows and covers up the dog poop I didn't pick up.

I just get tired of peoples shit, ya know?

@jimmypetzilla also the kind that I enjoy.

@crazy_cdn154 nothing looks flat to me lol

I thought I hated the world..turns out I was just hungry.

#vancouver, I'm comin for you.

I always wonder how many people's dreams I have been in.

It takes a huge effort to free yourself from memory.

The only people that hate Chuck E Cheese are the people that have never experienced it's greatness.

I already know better than to leave my house when I'm this cranky.

We should probably cuddle now.

I wish the world was as non-judgemental as tattoo shops.

Blonde girls all look the same to me.

Something about me that you may not know, is that I'm the same person to your face as I am behind your back.

I wonder when Kate Upton's sex tape is going to be "accidentally" leaked. I feel like it's about that time for her.

What's everyone doing today?!

Afternoon nap?! Don't mind if I do!