fall guys is this generation’s monkey ball

Just spent $7 on my old usual Starbucks drink that used to be $4 two years ago. …what the heck?

Do I have a cold or is it the smoke? We will never know

Week 2 of school and already a mental breakdown woowwwiee

pov: trying to do homework but you have a dog

Who is my nemesis, you ask? The guy in my building who leaves his stuff in the shared laundry machines for HOURS after it’s finished. Every Sunday.

this is me btw. when you're being mean to me, this is who you're being mean to.

It’s been a pleasure tweeting with y’all for the past 13 years. #RIPTwitter

Wild shit is, if I wake up and Twitter's gone, where am I going to go to talk about Twitter being gone?

I guess I should check in to say bye to all the twitter/internet friends I’ve made over the years; the ones whose tweets I watch go by but don’t really interact anymore. Still thinking of y’all.

My last few twitter years have been very lurk-y but I promise I’ve been on every day 😂

Why does starting this research paper feel like I’m looking at Everest

Just accepted an offer for a really fricken awesome new job and I’m SO EXCITED I had to tweet it

The view from my new office is craaaaazy. Can’t wait to see it on a sunny day 😍😍

Just had a moment at work where I realized I’m in scrubs, surrounded by medical equipment, and my task today is to teach myself optic physics. How the heck did I get here?

Shout out to the person who found my debit card and went on a spending spree. Hope you’re having a terrible day and you get a really bad sunburn 😘😘

Went to get some beers at the arena tonight. The guy asked for my ID. He looked at it, scoffed, and said “you’re old.” ….so that’s how I’m doing tonight

Boyfriend is away for 5 days and it happens to be the exact same time I find 2 spiders and mouse bite holes in a bag of pasta 🙃

Whitecaps are quietly taking over MLS and I just want put on record that I’m HERE for it