mom: “hmm oklahoma is ranked the most dangerous state on the fourth of july.” my aunt: “well our state moto is ‘hold my beer and watch this’. the accuracy😂😂

theres a difference between me and whats her name

are u ok? me:

alcoholics go to meetings, we go to parties

english is my second language. my first is dumb bitch and i’m fluent.

i’m proud of all the girls that can dress cute on the first day of classes, i’m hungover and still wearing the clothes from the night before...

if we’re friends, i’ll do anything for you. give you my last dollar, the shirt off my back, defend your name, help you succeed... except text back in a timely fashion. i won’t be doing that

ain’t NOBODY hype you up like all of the older people on your mom’s facebook

seeing a bunch of bronc riders packed up in a mini van rolling to the rodeo scream trouble, but man i do love a little trouble once in a while

it’s the being emotionally numb, acting like a dude, light-to-moderate alcoholism and giving zero fucks for me

shit got western

we have our hands full now boys

I swear we are fighting two pandemics Covid19 and Stupidity