𝑫𝒐𝒏𝒏𝒂: love is a fucking scam. read a book, eat strawberries 𝑯𝒂𝒓𝒗𝒆𝒚: *confesses his love to her* 𝑫𝒐𝒏𝒏𝒂: never mind. love is real. eat strawberries with someone you love

𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒏𝒈 𝑳𝒊𝒍𝒚: FUCK 𝑫𝒐𝒏𝒏𝒂: hey, language! 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒏𝒈 𝑳𝒊𝒍𝒚: english

*9x10* 𝑯𝒂𝒓𝒗𝒆𝒚: let’s make nicknames for each other! 𝑫𝒐𝒏𝒏𝒂: okay! 𝑯𝒂𝒓𝒗𝒆𝒚: great, how does “wife” sound?

𝑫𝒐𝒏𝒏𝒂: enough about sex positions, has anyone discovered a reading position that doesn’t get uncomfortable after 5 minutes? 𝑯𝒂𝒓𝒗𝒆𝒚: if I said my lap, would you sit on it?

𝑴𝒊𝒌𝒆* knocking on the door*: HARVEY, WE’RE GOING TO BE LATE, OPEN UP 𝑯𝒂𝒓𝒗𝒆𝒚: I’M IN LOVE WITH DONNA 𝑴𝒊𝒌𝒆: not what I meant but I support you!

𝑯𝒂𝒓𝒗𝒆𝒚: she’s not really my type 𝑴𝒊𝒌𝒆: what is your type? 𝑯𝒂𝒓𝒗𝒆𝒚: Donna, mostly

𝑫𝒐𝒏𝒏𝒂: fuck you 𝑯𝒂𝒓𝒗𝒆𝒚: is that an insult or a to do list? 𝑫𝒐𝒏𝒏𝒂: what? 𝑯𝒂𝒓𝒗𝒆𝒚: what

𝑫𝒐𝒏𝒏𝒂: falling in love with your best friend isn’t a choice 𝑫𝒐𝒏𝒏𝒂 *holding up a picture of Harvey*: but it IS a game and I have won

𝑫𝒐𝒏𝒏𝒂: I was born for politics. I have great hair and I love lying

𝑫𝒐𝒏𝒏𝒂: i love Harvey 𝑴𝒊𝒌𝒆: in the business partner way or the romantic way 𝑫𝒐𝒏𝒏𝒂: yes

𝑫𝒐𝒏𝒏𝒂 *walking into the room*: sorry I’m late, I was doing some stuff! 𝑯𝒂𝒓𝒗𝒆𝒚 *entering the room, hair disheveled*: i’m the stuff

𝑫𝒐𝒏𝒏𝒂 *sending Rachel a picture of Harvey*: look at that angle 𝑹𝒂𝒄𝒉𝒆𝒍: don’t you mean angel 𝑫𝒐𝒏𝒏𝒂: I was talking about his jawline but yeah that too

𝑯𝒂𝒓𝒗𝒆𝒚: I hope I don’t make you uncomfortable by saying this but you look extremely hot today 𝑫𝒐𝒏𝒏𝒂: we’re married, Harvey

𝑯𝒂𝒓𝒗𝒆𝒚: I think it’s just crazy that we work side by side so many years and we still could impress each other and don't get me wrong I love her, I always knew that I love her but that night was like out of dream moment 𝑾𝒂𝒊𝒕𝒆𝒓: I.. I just asked what can I get for you?

𝑯𝒂𝒓𝒗𝒆𝒚 : I love you 𝑫𝒐𝒏𝒏𝒂: no, I love you 𝑯𝒂𝒓𝒗𝒆𝒚: but I love you more 𝑫𝒐𝒏𝒏𝒂: I definitely love you more 𝑱𝒆𝒔𝒔𝒊𝒄𝒂: and I would love if you guys didn’t do this in the firm's group chat

𝑯𝒂𝒓𝒗𝒆𝒚: I assure you, I’m not jealous. I just get a horrible burning feeling in my stomach when I think about Donna with someone else. 𝑴𝒊𝒌𝒆: that’s jealousy. 𝑳𝒐𝒖𝒊𝒔: or heartburn. have you eaten spicy foods lately?

𝑫𝒐𝒏𝒏𝒂: do you guys realize that we can never stop tasting our own tongue? 𝑯𝒂𝒓𝒗𝒆𝒚 : well how about I taste yours for a change *Rachel, Mike, Louis, Samantha, Jessica, Katrina, Alex, Gretchen have left the group chat*

𝑴𝒊𝒌𝒆: so what’s it like being married to Donna? 𝑯𝒂𝒓𝒗𝒆𝒚 : one time when she was pissed at me, I asked her for a glass of water and she gave me a glass of ice and said ‘wait’

𝑯𝒂𝒓𝒗𝒆𝒚: Donna, we’re a team right? Ride or die? 𝑫𝒐𝒏𝒏𝒂: of course. I’d totally ride you 𝑯𝒂𝒓𝒗𝒆𝒚: what? 𝑫𝒐𝒏𝒏𝒂: what?

𝑯𝒂𝒓𝒗𝒆𝒚 *nervous laughter as Donna approaches*: hey babe, where have you been? 𝑫𝒐𝒏𝒏𝒂 *throws McFlurry at him*: you left me at a goddamn McDonald’s! I was NOT lovin it!!