I wanna party with king Julian so fucking bad

when i say “i’ll call you later” i mean later on in life not today

Me

I heard trumps gonna declassify all the files on how gay you are

just accepted help from someone that cares about me and was happy to do it

one more week until the sun starts setting after 6pm

i bloody knew it

Just got asked to drink on a Tuesday night and I said no #McQueenisfading

“ all u do is work ” well the money not gon come out my ass🫩

Here is an accurate photo of Tesla’s competition:

Not the best text to get from your wife

my swag grew i’ve swaguated

i am simultaneously the family’s black sheep and gold star and that’s exactly why i’m the way i am

I haven’t moved past the…. “eating babies and children” part… like where is the outrage? 😤

i think it is weird that the whole internet is consistently monitoring some monkey in a zoo to the point of calling for mass reviews so it gets a fucking tree but completely ignores Human Babies being kiIIed for sport on the daily