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elizabeth holmes makes having a cold difficult for young women who just wanna stay warm in a turtleneck, talk with a raspy voice, and collect your blood for no particular reason

How not to disguise the identity of your witness

san francisco suffers because we do not have italian delis like new jersey. i need to get my pasta sauce from a strip mall with a defunct Bed Bath and Beyond. if the lady says "moozarrell" you know it's gonna be the best goddamned gravy known to mankind

i awoke this morning from a very pleasant dream about running unit tests. guess my subconscious yearns for software that is supposed to be deterministic in its output

united plane power outlets are always too loose for US plugs so I constructed a plug bra from the plastic blanket wrapper to hold it in place. keeps it snugly in place. hope someone else finds this useful

you never realize how amazing technology (garage door motor) is until one day it's gone (you accidentally roll your brand new car into it)

me in April: these flowers are so pretty. let me use my internet connected cellular telephone to buy more for the fall. beep boop me in October: what the fuck. why are there 300 bulbs in a box on my doorstep. this is going to take forever. who the fuck did this to me

neighbor interrupted a coyote's nap

substitute LLM for toddler and this is good prompt writing advice for system instructions

this headline hums with ancient autumnal dread

ever since my husband got a boat we get packages with the most dramatic labels

I've been a combo of sick and work bingeing the last 4-5 days while my husband holds down the fort. our kid apparently negotiated this situation with my husband into $10/day to cooperate. gotta hand it to him, he is 8 years old and his net worth just doubled

can’t leave this site. due to crippling mumbo jumbo addiction

nothing keeps you feeling alive quite like the mid afternoon email from your kids principal with the subject "lice update"

garlic cloves are proving to be a huge hit with trick or treaters

me in 2016: when I'm a parent, my child will always wear branding-free, ironed clothing me in 2025: please at least put on a clean pair of Minecraft pajamas before we go out to dinner