The biggest scam on the planet is me thinking I’m God for 8 minutes after my first cup of coffee

one of our students referred to tiktok as “this app i have where you make videos” and when i asked her why she didn’t just say tiktok she told me she thought i was 30 and wouldn’t know what it was (: (: (((((:

does jack & diane by John Mellencamp remind you of memorizing minerals or are you normal

Surprise! 🥳 Hannah Simone, Lamorne Morris, and I are bringing you a #NewGirl Recap podcast! Mostly to share the official rules of "True American." Full trailer & details on where to listen here: bit.ly/3KbiOri

it’s national margarita day? ok cool guess that means i have to have seven

sitting in a bar at 5 pm on a Saturday listening to Mr Blue Sky and i think i’ve reached the peak of my existence

thinking about dying my hair with kool aid again hby

*talking about olive the other reindeer* “yeah i’ve read the book and seen the movie”

i watched my kindergarten - 4th graders sob in fear for their lives today because they woke up and came to school and i couldn’t promise them that this wouldn’t happen to us. my heart is so broken. enough is enough- guns ARE the problem. let’s solve it.

Suddenly it’s respond to everyone’s story o clock

Incoming medical students walk out at University of Michigan’s white coat ceremony as the keynote speaker is openly anti-abortion

My love language is being despised

“You’re such a good listener” thanks I’m fully having a conversation with myself in my head while you talk

Thinking about her 💔

i think everyone should experience crying on public transport at least once in their lives

bailey Elizabeth Moore kenzie x.com/tfln/status/65…