Dr. Ruth didn’t teach us to 69 so trump could steal her legacy.

Lot of theories rolling out right now. But all we really know for sure is that Jeffery Epstein’s friend Donald Trump may or may not have been shot.

He just did a 360 kickflip into a backside nose slide.

Sometimes you get shot in the ear, sometimes you get Covid. This sums up what America is all about, folks!

A guy that doesn’t listen to experts in their field doesn’t really need both ears anyway.

I ended up on last nights episode of The Daily Show. You can watch it here. youtu.be/uXINX_Zotd8?si…

New York - I’ll be doing two shows tonight at Gotham Comedy Club. 8pm & 10:30pm. See you there!

Ok, now do the “inject bleach, shark-battery” guy.

I never thought of myself as “Midwest Nice” but last night on my walk home I moved out of the way of a cockroach on the sidewalk here in NYC.

Catch a Comedy Works favorite on Sunday with Mike Stanley headlining the South club in Greenwood Village 🔥 🎟: bit.ly/46wzAfr

Thank you! I have to decline though. Bitcoin and Jungles are the two things I’ve managed to avoid for my own safety and well being! Cheers!

Oh, Ann Coulter - I see the confusion here. I know you’re used to children pointing and crying when they get a look at you, but I can assure you this dude is in a happy place.

Taking out the trash and I think I just came across the remnants of the funniest breakup imaginable.

PSA

Give us the debate we want. Eric Trump vs. Joe Biden’s dog.

I’m not going outwardly endorse a candidate, but I will tell you that I’m voting for the one I’m positive knows how to read.

Still pretty undecided about this election until I hear the otherside’s stance on Arnold Palmers penis. Sorry, I’m a single issue voter.

Today it’s Madison Swastika Garden.

Elon Musk is a fucking geek.

At the risk of sounding declarative, I’m dumping this App tomorrow. I’ve made a Blue Sky account and there are various other ways to keep in contact. IG: @Mike_Stanley TikTok: @SirMikeStanley MikeStanleyComedian.com Hope to see you down the road! Cheers!