Meet IF Mike D'Alesandro Swigs: Cum by the gallon Favorite Movie: You've got Male Go-To sex move: The Chicago Snowstorm Dream Dinner Date: Ricky Martin Quote he lives by: "Men are like a blackberry phone, Rub one ball and everything moves"

Meet IF Nick Daniels Swings: He never knows cuz hes always tanked Favorite Movie: White Men Can't Hump Go-To sex move: The Minivan Favorite Quote: "Do you like Lacrosse? Cuz imma drag my nuts all Lacrosse your face" Favorite Board Game: Hungry Hungry Nymphos

Meet P/IF Wojo WTF is up with this team and shirtless pool pics with dudes? Favorite Bat: Whatever fits up his asshole Favorite Movie: Frost the Blowman Go-To sex move: Space Dock Fondue w/guys Favorite Quote: "I don't care how small your wiener is I still want to see it"

Meet IF/DD Nolan Goff Guy loves booze Favorite Movie: Choke-a-Hontas Go-To sex move: Chili con queso Honeybucket blumpkin Celebrity Crush: Bill Cosby Quote he lives by: "If you don't believe in oral sex then just keep your mouth shut"

Meet P/C/1B/U Christopher Garza Nickname: Petey the Pickler Favorite Movie: When Harry Ate Sally Go-To sex move: Alligator Fuck House Favorite on stage Entertainment: Thunder Down Under Favorite Quote: "I'm not wearing any socks and I have the undies to match"

Meet P/1B Austin Andrews Swings: DeMarini Favorite Movie: Saturday Night Beaver Go-To sex move: Cleveland Hot Waffle Celebrity Crush: Lizzo Quote he lives by: "Girls are like biscuits, they are tough until they get wet"

Meet OF Matt Stefanski Thank the lord someone on this team likes girls! Favorite Movie: Pulp Friction Go-To sex move: Utah Standoff Celebrity Crush: Hillary Clinton Favorite Quote: "I may not go down in history, but ill go down on you"

Meet IF @k_bochte Nickname: BDB Favorite Movie: Drilling Miss Daisy Go-To sex move: Smashturbating Favorite Childhood memory: Using your moms chocolate starfish as an almond dish Inspirational Quote he lives by: "I want to taste me on your fingers"

Meet IF Branden Johnson Nickname: The Coke Can Cocksman Favorite Soap Opera: Genital Hospital Go-To sex move: The Connecticut Mudslide Favorite Song: "Slob on my Knob"- 3-6 Mafia Favorite Poem Verse: "Roses are red, violets are blue, let's fuck"

Meet P/C/IF J. Todd Ankney Nickname: Todd Spankney Favorite Movie: Battlestar Orgasmica Go-To sex move: The Dirty Vidalia Celebrity Crush: Betty White Favorite Quote: "Let's role play. Ill be Burger King and you be McDonald's Ill have it my way and you'll be loving it"

Meet IF @ZWegner28 Favorite Pre-Game Meal: Fruit loops out the Brownie Bowl Favorite Movie: Indiana Bones in the Temple of June Go-To Sex move: Mexican Salad If he could see 1 celebrity naked who would it be?: Oprah Winfrey Favorite Quote: "I licked it so it's mine"

Meet IF Mitchell Dunse Holds the Guinness World Records for chicks banged in his car in a Dairy Queen parking lot in 1 summer with 37 Favorite Movie: Ate Men Out Go-To Sex move: Wisconsin Dust Storm Celebrity Crush: Harry Styles. Favorite Quote: "Ill kiss you in the rain so you get twice as wet"

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#swag

Hate the #chicagocubs Love Anthony Rizzo F%#$ the #NYYankees

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