Just doordashed a bouquet of flowers to my grandmas house for Valentine’s Day. My heart is warm

Just to clear the air there are no NFL quarterbacks in South Hampton right now. It was just me and Professional Asshole throwing the football outside 75 Main.

PTO today. Getting paid to drink at Splounge Can’t beat this with a stick!

Hair stylist said I look like a young Matt Dillon. This might be a great weekend

Jack Hughes repeating how much he loves America and how proud he was to be an American after scoring the game winner while simultaneously missing 3 teeth was such a gorgeous display of patriotism

Absolutely 💯 🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸

If you’re watching Barstool Golf content man you need to figure it out

Week and a half left on the lease you better believe the grease in this pan is going straight down the sink drain

I don’t know if I need a frontal lobotomy or a bottle in front of me

How do people enjoy watching soccer. I would rather watch paint dry

20 foot table at Bayards on a Saturday like this is really something special

It ain’t a Sunday morning in New York without a lot of people lined up to eat some bullshit

Feeling the sore throat coming at night just knowing you’re so fucked for tomorrow

Lease signed. Come find me in Greenwich Village

men who should be drafted in the war first: - men who drink matcha - men who are under 5’8 - men who wear rings - men who have a burner to shit on women - men who pay for dating apps - blondes

Moving apartments tomorrow morning. I haven’t packed a single thing yet. Spring Lounge Guinness.

Started packing. Don’t have enough boxes. This is a nightmare. Michelob Ultra.