Ok this is actually hilarious.

My dad made a “meme” and asked me to spread it as far as I can so here you go

I could read this over and over for days

Hey Proud Boys and MAGA “Patriots”... what the fuck is it that this country hasn’t given you?

Welcome to the Freedom Cafe! We trust you to make your own choices if you want to wear a face mask. And, in the same spirit of individual liberty, we allow our staff to make their own choices about the safety procedures they prefer to follow as they prepare and serve your food.

It’s Been

One week since we quarantined
Said we’d all stay inside
And eat our groceries

Amanda: ASH! What are you doing with that knife?
Ash: I must hide it under the cushions. And then the Knife Fairy will come and find it and she will take it away to her castle made of knives.
Amanda: HE'S YOUR CHILD!
Me: That's really good. I think I may use it.

I don’t need to stock up on toilet paper- more than one person gave me a copy of hillbilly elegy

right after me and Frank Stallone debate over who's benefitted the least

'This restaurant serves food or shit. Which would you like?'

'I only want my FAVORITE food. Otherwise, shit.'

- America 2020

Please stop posting this or I am going to make my own magazine

Man, if you're going to mention the rape case, don't just sprinkle it in there out of obligation. Using jargon like 'complicated' is an easy way to glide past it. You can just write why someone who was so heroic to millions of people also represented rape culture at its fullest.

Charlie Brown is an adult now. Snoopy is merely a security question.

My mom died peacefully this afternoon after a decade-long battle with Alzheimer’s / Dementia. Instead of dwelling on the disease that took her away, I would rather acknowledge the successes in her life (see screenshot)
And please support HFC and/or Alzheimer's Association

Many people have sweetly written me, upset about the #Witcher reviews. Know this:

Who do I care about? 'Professional' critics who watched one episode and skipped ahead? Or REAL fans who watched all eight in one day, and are starting their rewatch?

I am fucking THRILLED.😉❤️

Thread: Today by chance I met a lady who has an autistic son.
“He’s 5” she said, “and he’s never spoken”.
“That’s fine”, Was all I could say, “as long as he’s happy” I added.
She said she thinks he is but can’t be sure. She confessed she struggles with communication.

Thanks for asking Abby, tachycardia may be physiological, to compensate for a low blood volume, or an adrenergic response to an external stimulus. But it can also be due to primary pathologies of the heart, such as ventricular tachycardia, or accessory pathways.

One of my favorite things is when I ask my four year old a question like “and what’s that tree called?” and there’s an adult standing there who’s all “I think that’s a pine tree!”