I just realized the reason I struggle psychologically with age related infertility is because I see a lot of young squirrels this time of the year.

I've been feeding squirrels for over 30 years and there have been multiple generations.

Young plants are also being prepared to be planted outside on Mothers day (another holiday I feel alienated from).

Some of these are seeds I've collected and planted from plants I've seen in the past, like the wild camomile near the News 12 station on Story Ave

I also found and aborted pantry moth larvae in my apt recently, which I was infected with by my ex roommate. Raid got rid of them quickly.

If a plant, a moth and a rodent can reproduce and continue their existence biologically why can't I as a big brained primate

If according to the common social myth a man can be reborn from the dead then why will the fact that I'll die in childbirth plus the fact that my kid will be taken by ACS at its birth, dissuade me?

If even death can't stand against me as a Christian why must I fear ACS courts?

Oh and one of my jade tree s that I saved had babies

I walked to the 24 th floor during hurricane Sandy to save the tree

The tree was born some time around 2006 or 2007 and it became my property in 2012