Would you say “England IS a bunch of fakers” or “England ARE a bunch of fakers”? #WorldCup

Has anyone ever made a sale at a Christmas craft fair?

The new ep of #BadScience is out and we’re gettin’ PSYCHO with Tom Martin and neuroscientist Dr. Dean Mobbs. Listen now: bit.ly/2COjxPT

Every restaurant table in Los Angels wobbles.

World: “Hey, do you hate homework?” Me: “More than anything.” . . . Me: *becomes a writer and has homework every day.* Me: “This is right. I deserve this.”

My son missed Comicon to kiss a girl. What a weirdo. Devon Fleiss

Biden was so obvious in his attempt to reach young people by using the word "malarkey." For the record, Joe, they now just say "malark."

.The Simpsons #TheSimpsons600 - My favorite pic by mark kirkland . A rare Simpsons writing staff portrait with John Swartzwelder.

I wish the guy who punched the kangaroo could be president. But Putin probably won't allow it.

Say, it looks like my wife is planning a big date.

@notthatLew Johnny LaZebnik Lew, the 3% is Irish. From that filthy Dairy Queen in Lowell.

@ericlinuskaplan First read "The Inner Game of Tennis" then see if you need any other books ever.

@ericlinuskaplan I think so. I'm curious what you think of the book, so I'm trying to trick you into reading it

For someone who doesn't know what an algorithm is, I sure use the word algorithm a lot.

Same

Not sure it's gonna go down like the song predicts, but it's a good song. x.com/mma_gifs_/stat…

Mom’s trying to lure me for a visit with the promise of chores.

I once played a dragon with a terrible fake Australian accent. Here is one of the lines. x.com/tearsofaclone/…

Months ago, in a writers room not far away, Erika Martin told her coworkers that she has never seen Star Wars. This episode is a tribute to that brave moment. youtu.be/HIKmp5pCI4U

I’ve logged into Twitter to let you know there’s a man in his 40s wearing pajamas at the airport. If he’s on my flight I hope we crash.