I know you don't have any time for any foolishness but I'm on my way.

You make me nervous, go away.

How did people wake up on time before we had alarm clocks?

Get you a girl who can do both (be sweet and psycho)

Looky here sista - if you’re going to be a cutie pahtootie, then you go HARD and be the BEST cutie pahtootie this side of the swamp has ever seen.

Having copious amounts of hot sex isn’t hard to find. Just find a person, tell em you’re horny for them, then they say okay - and away ya go.

Of course people are gonna piss ya off. Probably on a daily basis. That’s why orgasms are so important to have as a coping mechanism.

in another life i have something to do with your happiness

My local habitat has some snow. Not much. Just a few skiffs. Sad thing is it won’t melt cuz temps are getting colder. Fuck the cold. Fuck the snow. Fuck the winter Fuck the me even (jk)

Hear me out - we say shampoo which is a cute name - but then we say conditioner, nothing cute bout that name. We shoulda called it shamgoo or sumthin like that. Conditioner is kinda goo-ish…

My toes are numb, my hands are frozen, my face is iced, but my cootch is warm. Play on..

I want to spend all my good and all my bad days only with you.

Haunt me from the inside out

Adult films are so unrealistic—I delivered pizza for three years, and not once did they invite me in for sex.

Don't sleep on a chewsday you idjits

normalize not telling anyone anything

This is how ЯOB.G keeps those sphincter muscles so tight👇

a playlist and the sky, my own personal lost and found

tracing ~ pretty rope-kissed lines where the fibers bit the skin pain climbing out of its grave predatory pleasure claiming me between its teeth

I guess I'm just young at heart