OMG Twitter still exists? 👋🏼 Hi

Let me be the first to say #trumpdidntkillhimself

If I currently have 12 apples, you have 4, there are 20 apples in total and the race is for who has the most apples, even if you got the remaining 4 apples I will still win. #USAelection2020 for the hard of braining

Hope he came for you 🎄

Final question at the gates of Aladdin’s cave.. “Who mentioned Kaboola”

‘Hi, vendor X’ ‘What time will the 2 luggage pieces be delivered to the hotel in Linking Road?’ ‘Oh hi SpiceJet SpiceJet, company that contracts us Yes they our out for delivery, they should be there about xx:xx’ ‘Great, thanks vendor X’ Apparently too complicated..

Is there a specific name for, 'I am now bored by all possible food choices' syndrome.

Teeth

Nelly the elephant is ruined for me. #Trump 🐘 #Trump 🐘 #Trump 🐘

I like to greet a room of people by loudly proclaiming : 'HELLO HUMANS' Keeps them guessing.

Look who we ran into during the sound check at the Madinat Theatre. The Comedy Store, UK

The internet seems to think I've been waiting for a lot of things I've not been waiting for

🌙 Ramadan Kareem 🌙 to everyone I know who are Mubaraked

I think he's waiting for someone to bring out the WAR SAW. #TrumpinPoland

"Comedy comes from adversity" Glad it's not the other way around.

#Valerian Excellent visuals Awesome world building Wasted on two petulant kids and an awful storyline

If anyone stuck in Lower Parel can make it to The Bombay Canteen, our doors are open for some garam chai, working WiFi & warm hospitality. 🤗

Anyone any the wiser as to what meatloaf wouldn't do? #askingforafriend

An unanticipated participant in racial sensitivity issues is the laundry basket labelling industry..

America really needs a #guyfawkes about now