I bet all of the terrorist organizations who switched to Zunes are feeling pretty cocky right now.

It’s awesome that the last thing they can remember was getting a page from 5318008.

Is there any way Mossad can do this but for people who have inspirational quotes on their email signatures?

Trader Joe’s should put her face on all of their ethnically themed products.

“…an explosive charge in a pager? Hey, wake me up when you can put a fucking flame thrower in a bagpipe!”

This sweet bastard has been using a pager since the ‘80’s with little to no problems.

“Hip Hop Sex Trafficker” is probably going to be the second or third best Spirit Halloween costume this year.

Elton John had to marry Renate Blauel but I guess this works too.

Liberace collected Yankees memorabilia. I guess whatever it takes.

Where’s the Stanford Marching Band?

Is he sitting behind retired LPGA legend Dottie Pepper?

Zelensky will have these on EBay by tomorrow morning.

This is the same bold strategy that made Gary Glitter a household name.

“Cut me, (another slice of cheesecake) Mick.”

Sounds like his Grinder profile is really paying dividends.

“Nader 2024” - RC Cola website.

“When you’re on a budget and Flavor-Aid is on sale you buy as much as you can.” - Reverend Jim Jones

Spirit Halloween Elon Musk costume.

“Ah, a humanidade e todos os passageiros gritando por aqui!”