Sorry, Miranda, what did you say? I was too busy staring at your ass. #Perfection

The one bad thing about the SR2 is that Pressly no longer has the deck. #DJPressly #WickyWickyWahWah

Just had to kick Jacob off the ship, we needed the armory so that Dr. Chakwas had somewhere to store all her brandy #BrandyQueen

Dr. Chakwas hates giving the crew meds because it means they can't drink and there's one less person she can have a brandy with #BrandyQueen

Aquarium VI: The fish food dispenser that doesn't try to sleep with you.

@MiriLawgirl You silly bitch, he's clearly more into guys. #AnalAlenko

“Javik: To be fair... ” Spike

Right that's it you've all worked so hard these past few weeks that I'm giving the whole crew the rest of the day off! #NotYouJacob

Just told Tali to try out the claymore in the shuttle bay, the kickback sent her through the hull. You've got to take these small victories.

Miranda buzzed over the comms about some silly report. It's 1:55am and venting her office was easier than listening to her. #ShoreLeave

Nothing pleases me more than seeing Jacob float away into the empty void. #ShoreLeave

@WingmanGarrus Calibrations get you everywhere?

I discovered a throne made of brandy shipping crates and a passed out Chakwas cradling several bottles of Serrice Ice #BrandyQueen

Downing Tequila shots with Commander Shepard. Tequila se'lai.

Twitter has filed for an IPO. We're going to buy all the shares and insist they add a 'Dismiss Claim' option to Tweets.

When I was in the taxi with Liara and Samara and I asked whether it had guns, Liara missed an opportunity to tell me it was "Just-a-car"

@AsariSamara You love it!

There's nothing like a good air locking to shut Jacob up. #ShoreLeave

Can't shake the image of Sparatus pissing off the Councillors to the point where Tevos screams "You can't sit with us!" #MeanCouncillors

'This vid is rated E for everybody' #NotYouJacob