Sad to announce that my streak of 1,089 consecutive days without shitting my pants has come to an end this morning. The culpret you ask? A hot cup of Aldi brand dark roast coffee. A fart got past the goalie this morning but we will be back folks. Sucks to be poor.

Supreme Leader Kim Jong Un is not ticklish

Yea cold water makes my wee wee look microscopic, but my torso looks like christ on the cross. Time to start taking the good with the bad and accepting. Its called high and tight ladies and gents. I might be hot

I'll be the first to say it I'm out on quarter zips pick a fuckin side do you wanna look nice or like ass

I think I’m gonna start getting my shit together tomorrow

The vibration of a wii remote hits different

I cannot for the life of me stop farting at work

Shedeur’s prank call, Trump’s approval rating, Lakers/Wolves, Belichick girlfriend, 100 men vs gorilla youtu.be/nkSiRVfl1oM

I now have nothing to live for

Every morning feels like I'm taking a D-zone face-off

Officer there is a glock in ny rari

When it's all said and done, which song is more viral?

Top 5 Lee's 1. Bobby 2. Bruce 3. Evan 4. Lee (the jeans) 5. Tommy

I am deleting all socail media (so twitter) until the wild either re-sign or trade Kaprizov. I will be hiding under a blanket until the deal is done. Cannot take this much uncertainty in my life.

The amount of sleep debt I'm in is now impacting my credit score someone please knock me the fuck out and put me out of my misery I can't stop thinking about how disgusting blue cheese is and I have work in the morning

Why is the Verizon customer service rep flirting with me

Time to dig deep