on Halloween, someone reported this house in Baltimore to the Health Department for illegally running a restaurant out of a residence 😭

Choosing what to eat always feels so overwhelming, so I end up eating the same exact lunch for months at a time. (until the fateful day where that particular meal is DEAD TO ME and I start anew)

elon musk [parody] [humor] [any individuals in this text (referred to henceforth as “the tweet”) are named on a satirical basis] [the tweet is not a statement of fact, with protection as codified in 17 USC §107 & affirmed in Hustler Mag v Falwell (1988)]: boy i love sippin piss

Happy Democracy Day! Use it or lose it.

Also happy National Anxiety Day. It isn’t, but it should be, but it also shouldn’t.

My dental hygienist found orthodontic cement on one of my front teeth this morning. I haven’t had braces for over 30 years! I’m a mixture of surprised, impressed, and a bit confused.

I wish I could remember the context, but I’m pretty sure in my half-asleep stupor this morning that I tried to type the word “yuck” on the dog’s butt.

People are starting to say Elon Musk isn't actually a real engineer. But he definitely said "I don't know why people think Twitter is so complicated. I could fix it in like a weekend." And then proceeded to fuck everything up. That's exactly like an engineer.

Teens: I wonder if I'm autistic. Early 20s: Attention seeking, probably masking ~24/7 Late 20s: Oh, I'm depressed. That explains it. Early 30s: Ton of life changes. Late 30s: One of my kids has ADHD. Early 40s: Oh, I have ADHD. That explains it. Mid 40s: I wonder if I'm autistic.

Octavia Butler told me one of the failures of sci-fi /fantasy was its inability to imagine the alien other as anything different from a human form "with a mask on." I rate sci-fi on that basis to this day. Yes. I knew her. Yes. She was exceptional.

So tired that I accidentally ordered an extra cup of coffee this morning. Task failed successfully?

I’m sorry I can’t be on the zoom call right now. The dog ate my internet. No, I am 100% serious.

I updated the software on a speaker this morning. Because that’s a thing you do in the 21st century.

AskAubry 🦋 🐆🦝 Anyone who labels themselves as Alpha Male has some serious insecurities. But it lines up with the use of Alpha in software releases. Alpha releases are often unstable, not to be trusted in a real world environment, full of bugs and security issues, & crash often. Sounds right

Sentencing will be Thursday July 11 at 10 A.M. The RNC begins July 15

Me: When my #Dragonbane campaign starts back up again, we’re going to do some serious role playing and I’ll make combats more dangerous and deadly. Also me: I’m going to make a magic item based on Fred Durst’s hat.