New 28 until he’s 29 just dropped. “That’s how it works”

Just remembered there’ll be the lap at the end of the game tonight and let me tell you, I’m not emotionally ready for this.

Pitch invading for staying up is about as tragic as you can get. Genuinely embarrassed for them.

Look at my beautiful pals 🥹 I’m so lucky to have moved home after 7 years away and slotted back into the wonderful North East bubble. Happy. Happy ME

There are worse sights to wake up to… #SJP This has been one of the best seasons we’ll ever see, regardless of the future. This team, the togetherness, the rejuvenated city, the content, the shithousery, I miss it all already. Thank you #NUFC I PROPA LOVE YA

Selling 1 x seated ticket in the Milburn for #SamFender tonight. Clearly not a scam, just not going anymore. Would have to meet at the ground. Send me a DM #NUFC

MAGS ABROAD… sort of 🤷🏼‍♂️🤣 R

Announcing this information, which they’ll 100% have already known, after everyone’s bought one is snide AF too. Nope.

Back in my day games were delayed due to the new scoreboard potentially falling off and killing a few thousand people

Bro doesn't even want to be here. 💀

People really are the fucking pits aren’t they? Like what the fuck is wrong with this shitty planet? I am absolutely speechless that someone has felled the tree on Sycamore Gap for reasons only they know. A beloved Northern treasure destroyed. Honestly hate the world sometimes.

They spent so long wondering how Dan Burn would handle Paris Saint-Germain that they didn't stop to consider how Paris Saint-Germain would handle Dan Burn.

As you’ve all said, a night under the lights for everyone to remember forever! I wish we could do it all over again. “Who’d have thought it?” Thanks to Drunk Me videoing for Sober Me to find the next day! #NUFC #NEWPSG

𝗔𝘁 𝘁𝗶𝗺𝗲𝘀, 𝗶𝘁 𝗰𝗮𝗻 𝗯𝗲 𝗼𝗯𝘃𝗶𝗼𝘂𝘀 𝘄𝗵𝗲𝗻 𝘀𝗼𝗺𝗲𝗼𝗻𝗲 𝗶𝘀 𝘀𝘁𝗿𝘂𝗴𝗴𝗹𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘁𝗼 𝗰𝗼𝗽𝗲, 𝗯𝘂𝘁 𝘀𝗼𝗺𝗲𝘁𝗶𝗺𝗲𝘀 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘀𝗶𝗴𝗻𝘀 𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝗵𝗮𝗿𝗱𝗲𝗿 𝘁𝗼 𝘀𝗽𝗼𝘁. Check in on those around you. #WorldMentalHealthDay | #YouAreNotAlone | Samaritans

Newcastle United @JacobMurphy95

I’m in Barcelona and when Longstaff scored, some Irish bloke chatting the ear off Kev said ‘I thought he was going travelling?’ It’s insane how far this has gone considering it’s one of the least believable ones he’s done 😂😂 #nufc

Tell you what, was absolutely livid when I asked for a Bovril at half time and the young lass didn’t know what I meant. You work in a football stadium, in the North East and it’s November. Are you having a laugh love???! Shambolic. Truly (Got one in the end though #nufc)

I think this man climbed into my brain and managed to pull out all my thoughts, articulating them far better than I can. Just need a sentence about the rich people now involved in it and 👌

I know this poll is absolutely ridiculous but I’m having a heated discussion about this and feel like I’m losing my mind. Do you piss in the sea? Like if you’re at the beach, do you wee in the sea or always find a bar/cafe?

Town? #nufc