life imitates art

i love when recipes say 'Do not overcook.' like they saw me thinkin about it

just submitted my packet for the democratic fundraising job

when a recipe calls for sour cream it’s like who do you think i am, the dairy aisle? how many differently strained milks do you expect me to have on file

i’m the guy who didn’t believe bruno mars was in the spot on saturday night. but i have to admit — he showed me

SCOTUS Justice Sonia Sotomayor: “If the president ... orders someone to assassinate [a rival], is that within his official acts for which he can get immunity?”

Trump attorney D. John Sauer: “It would depend on the hypothetical, but we can see that could well be an official act.”

what starts here changes the world

just had a powerful coffee and am walking around feeling like a really stupid version of the terminator. Scanning around me and the readout is just like:
Guy
Another guy
Chair
Pigeon (bird)

The United States Congress passed a law today forbidding British filmmakers from making movies about American politics until they pass a written test.

Source: dibsnext.com/new-law-requir…

that's actually such a wild coincidence

Is is amazing how the protesters are always right 50 years ago and always wrong today

i am alive. thank you to everyone who sent flowers ❤️‍🩹

me reading this article

i think i’m possessed???

everyone is dunking on my new entree but have you tried to put hamburger meat, goat cheese, chocolate, and oatmeal inside a baguette