This #NeymarChallenge is hilarious 😂

The #NeymarChallenge - everything a Valhallan is not: x.com/shazeensamad/s…

#NewProfilePic

Talking helmets, shield walls and mead at the first Newsman Valhalla committee meeting. Agreed a policy of trying to win football matches.

Hello Northwich Victoria F.C - we're a new vets' team with initials NVFC and green-and-white kit. Can we be your friend - pleeeeaase?!

A team is born in fire of 6-0 debut loss to @Newsmancelticfc. Beware wounded Vikings. Blood axes for battle 2 on Thur. Raaaarrrggghhh!!!!!

Raaaargh!!! We rained fury on Costessey Vets to win the skirmish 2-0. Clean sheet, bloodied weapons. The Vikings are loose.

We got a bye in Vets' Cup. Already, they fear the Vikings.

Here's most of the contents of our skipper's kitbag. The bloodaxe was being cleaned.

And here's the team line-up before Thursday's battle.

Valhalla 0 Taverham Vets 5. Not as bad as it sounds, against a team three leagues up.

Siege warfare today. Valhalla 1 Cringleford 3 (+3 from Darren Huckerby). Valiant defence - on Sept 24 we launch the longships and rage.

Did Ragnar Lothbrok have to wash his own gear after a battle? No. Bloody modern Viking life...

Laundered to perfection. A blank canvas for the blood and excreta of our terrified foes.

Valhalla away pillage in village of Hockering. @Newsmancelticfc 5-1 up v Tuddenham. Some promising future Vikings on show.

Final score 5-1. Son of Fjorkbeard 2, Tiger, Durrant, Gall. x.com/newsmanvalhall…