Every museum should have one work by an employee and u have to guess which one it is.

I don’t date “newly single” cause they need to prove that they're dating someone better than their EX. And I’m not that person. I prefer old, old single.

Oh hey I made a comedy special from my 2022 Edinburgh Fringe Show! I hope you like it! Sid Singh: Illegally Funny: youtu.be/cSnVAltNsL4

I originally came to America on an H-1B visa to work in tech. You know the real reason tech companies love foreign hires? They practically own them, and can underpay them accordingly. It has nothing to do with culture, and everything to do with cost.

Bill Burr is an absolute legend.

I texted my Dad what's his fav food and he mistakenly sent me a brown turd emoji for a chocolate soft ice cream emoji.

Thanks to Trump, there are two genders: Broke and Poor. #recession

Now there is another reason to bring manufacturing back to the United States. A lot of crypto millionaires are going to need jobs.

I used to work hard for the approval of my parents. Now I work hard for the approval of Chatgpt

“After I go to mars, I’ll explore Uranus”

The new Pope has a degree in mathematics from Villanova University. This guy doesn’t just understand sin. He understands cos.

Mamdani is already getting the criminals out of NYC!

Me tweeting my audience

As an introvert in New York, the most terrifying part of socialism is the social part.

I showed my mom a clip of an audience laughing hard at my jokes, and she asked if it was AI generated.

I know I’m getting older cause when I saw two balls dropped from Times Sq, I thought about getting my prostate checked. #HappyNewYear2026

Over coffee this morning my wife said, “Did you hear anything I just said?” I thought to myself, “That’s an odd way to start a conversation.”

Shoutout this guy who made a smart financial decision by winning silver instead of gold

Can’t believe they released the Epstein files to cover up for the Melania movie.

Instead of Stone Age, I'm surprised Trump didn't say he'll send Iran back to the ICE age.