All the way from CT Indianapolis Motor Speedway #tweetyourseat Slubs

This is fucked

The only reason to have a credit score is to sell your soul to the devil. Rich people don’t need credit scores WTF

I’m nicer to my parents when I️ don’t live with them. I️ feel like their proximity to me directly affects my raging bitch scale

How do malls vet these Santa’s before they allow children to sit on their laps?

Clients, don't forget to share your branch holiday decor for a chance to win a FREE custom-branded video for your FI's Geezeo #PFM, a $1000 value! #GZOHolidayDecor17

CONGRATULATIONS Chloe Kohanski! You did it and we couldn’t be more proud! #ChloeIsTheVoice

Excited to be the 1,766th 😎 on BackerKit for GoSun Go: Boil Water and Cook.... Thanks @gosunstove …-cook-meals-go-anywhere.backerkit.com/community_shar…

Do men’s bathrooms have changing tables?

Every time someone comes over with gifts, when they leave my dad says fuck, now I️ have to get them something. In viet of course

If a group of girls asks you to take a picture, just yell out “fake laughing picture!” and watch them go nuts

I’m going to need someone, anyone to deliver me French macaroons

Mirai Nagasu makes history as the first American woman to land a triple axel at the Olympics ti.me/2nTMVLE

Can we just give it up for our Asian American ice skaters representing the USA at the #OlympicGames2018 ?

How can I make Alex shibutani my boyfriend? #OlympicGames2018

Tomorrow Peter Glyman will be teaming up with LEVEL5 & Guaranty Bank to discuss how to succeed in today’s digitally focused environment. #abanccb American Bankers Association bit.ly/2EqS8Rh #digitalbanking #mobilebanking #fintech

Wtf LEAVEEEEEEEEEEE

Idk what made this day worse, finding out Ariana grande is going to be elpheba in wicked, or arie proposing and breaking up with Becca.

Pretty and smart 😍🔥😍 x.com/geezeo/status/…

Made it through April fools without one fake pregnancy joke. So I’m proud of humans today