👏 👏👏 308k people registered to vote on Fri. Amazing, but many thousands more are still not registered. 😩 😱 There are now only 2 days left to register ‼ 🗳 Have a say in the future of this country. 🙌 ☑ Register to vote now - takes just 5 mins ⏳ gov.uk/register-to-vo…

I don’t mean to depress anyone further but if the Tories win their majority they’ll finally be able to impose the boundary changes which will make it even easier for them to win majorities

I am Marcus, God of the moon.

When you’re a 43 year-old dad of two, “Birthday Breakfast in Bed” becomes “6am Wipe Son’s Arse Take Son To School Take Daughter For Walk Clean Dog Shit Off Buggy Wheels Stub Little Toe Take Daughter To Doctors Breakfast At Midday” Happy Birthday to me.

I rarely tweet tricks for longer lashes, but this one is worth watching, if only because China's TikTok suspended this account after it realized what this really was.

There is documentary footage of Jacob Rees-Mogg literally DANCING A JIG when an opposition motion to remove hospital parking fees was filibustered to death by Philip Davies.

STATEMENT: The Muslim Council of Britain Responds to Chief Rabbi's Comments | 26 November 2019

🤔🤔🤔🤔 I wonder why the Tories wouldn’t invite them for this election?

Michael Gove where’s the money for Grenfell?

A week or two back, I discovered people were pirating copies of both Film Stories and Film Stories Junior, independent magazines I've sunk my heart, soul and savings into. After what was a very low day, I've tried to do something positive in response buff.ly/35AJ9Kn

Including asthma and narcolepsy?

I’m voting for someone I know NOTHING about. They’re a new candidate in our area and for all I know they might be the person that always lets their dog shit on the corner of Colne Rd and Mereway Road. But you know what? They ain’t a #FuckingTory

Boris Johnson wrote that: - It is only “natural” for people to be scared of Islam - Claimed that "the problem is Islam. Islam is the problem.” - Asked "when is someone going to get 18th century on Islam's medieval ass?” businessinsider.com/boris-johnson-…

If Boris manages to evade doing Andrew Neil then the BBC are going to have screwed up on impartiality

Imagine what they'll be like with a majority. Cabinet Office ignores court order to release secret fracking report theguardian.com/environment/20…

This bloke in a glittery gold suit has started a quiz on our train. The prizes: a chomp, an M&S flapjack, and a scotch egg. The carriage is RAPT.

🛑Usman Khan was released under a sentencing regime which no longer exists 🛑Johnson’s manifesto says not a single word about current Extended Sentences. 🛑The minor changes he has proposed to automatic release would not have applied to Khan. Exploitative, dishonest, cynical.

Teen Worf.