Whenever I screw something up I just say “We’re in the end game now” and people think I know what I’m doing.

There’s nothing worse than someone sucking up who’s not good at sucking up.

Real at heart...

growth ecstasy

All the small reminders leading up to the biggest most heartbreaking of them all.

i was this smart cool pretty funny nice person once

I only buy products that have a picture of a Cat giving an approving look at the item in the review picture. Otherwise, how can you know?

I feel like people who make good decisions have a totally unfair advantage

People, please stop saying "meal prep".

I came into some money today (found a quarter in a clean pair of jeans)

Your bumper stickers say badass but your driving screams dumb motherfucker

Oh great - we suffered through your delusional thoughts on the debate and now we get to hear your crackpot theories on 9/11. The fun never stops on this app.

Well, this void isn't going to fix itself

The 1st Law of Hurricanes. It’s not how fast the wind is blowing, It’s WHAT the wind is blowing.

Whereas you think you're too cool to boogie; and Whereas I have news for you; and Whereas everybody here tonight must boogie; and Whereas you are no exception to the rule; Therefore Be It Resolved that we will get on up on the floor and boogie until we just can't boogie no more.

I get all of my legal advice from Twitter/X so what could possibly go wrong?

Good Morning Riders On The Storm W W W

Beware for vanity knows no bounds