I’m David Attenborough

today is gonna be the day

a lotta yall still dont get trump holders can use multiple suit pieces on a single trump so if you have 15 dancing trumps and 75 bitcoin trumps you can create 1 beautiful real physical trading card this is essentially a minting event for both Gala Dinners AND Knockout Suits

what do you think it’s like to work for raytheon. like when you show up to a party and someone asks what you do, you just say “i work at raytheon”?

my mom, tears in her eyes: honey i have some bad news about your grandfather me, pausing move along by all-american rejects right at the piano part: oh no does he have to restart a song now??

I promise you there is no syndrome whatsoever I am genuinely an imposter

manager: you have the number one hit single in the world. congrats. how did you celebrate gotye: i bought a jet ski manager: awesome lol. want to write another song sometime? gotye: no thanks. i think im gonna go ride my jet ski

Memory lane

wouldn’t you? he literally has a gun

nobody is gonna do voter fraud against trump but if somebody did it would be melania

hello sharks. i would like ten million dollars to make a big pot of spaghetti. just like mama used to make

my new bit I’ve been workshopping called “Bryan Pants”

the bechdel test video game actually looks pretty cool

This is heartbreaking

i can tell you one thing: if i were a billionaire i would not be feuding with a whole ass country. i’d be spending every cent i had to make gundam real

sorry, always referred to republicans as what

top blue check reply: i masturbated to the shrimp frying that rice