FFS. Will Labour also be taking us back to the three-day week and the sugar shortage? If so, can we at least have Roobarb and Custard and children dressed entirely in shades of brown and orange, as well?

The scene: Labour comms HQ
Josh: What will women think?
Ben: Some of them will think it's a right laugh, you know, the cool ones.
Alex: What about the others?
Josh: They might feel despised and taken for granted?
Ben: Cool, we need them to understand that's the deal.