*castlevania dracula voice* my picture was printed out by HUMANS who wished to pay ME tribute!

why do people get mad at nepotism and not at their parents for sucking

Start-ups have invented the Gom Jabbar test

this somehow isn’t going to be the bottom to the depravity

this came on during my walk and while I always liked this album this time it felt like i was charging a spirit bomb

Tired woman attempting to keep good habits likes the way her tits look in old shirt, film at 11

Cary Grant: I’ve spent the last 5 years putting together this brontosaurus skeleton. It’s my life’s work. Time to add the final piece.

[faintly from the other room] I’m Katherine Hepburn, and this is Jackass! [sound of high heels running down the hall]

散歩の準備をしている飼い主の様子を伺う犬
#定期監視

Hi, poor person here. Friendly reminder that you need to get a doorbell camera to keep an eye on us. We're sneaky and evil and we're going to come and get you or something

Thinkin bout La Nouba

(French DJ voice) I just want to say... To all ugly and dumb people. Stupids... I just want to say to you that YOU. ARE. BEAUTIFUL! (Beat kicks in)

i told my girlfriend i really wanted to hold hands with her and she called me gay

someone’s gonna call quarritch this in 3 and it’ll be the thing that makes him switch sides

if it's gay to want to fall madly in love with a rough older woman than so be it i accept my fate

I would of crushed being a puppygirl a decade ago but now I have to settle for being a shelter rescue

I need to play cruelty squad again