“How can you be bad at improv? It’s just like having a conversation”. Yeah, I’m bad at those too

giving up past tense for lend

Oh “you don’t choose who you fall in love with”? Well it seems like a lot of people are choosing not to fall in love with me!

Ummmm okay…if I wasn’t popular in high school, then how come at our water polo team sleepover I got to sleep in my own room while everyone else had to share one?

Tuesday 3/7 we're kicking off March with a super sexy, supersized lineup: Ryan Beck Laura Sogar Casey James Salengo Lindsay Lucido Anthony Moore & Doug Smith 8:30 PM @ The Graham, 151 Meserole Street FREE eventbrite.com/e/570128578927

Can’t believe I’m closer to 28 than I am to 16 :/ (I’m 29)

It’s so embarrassing to be the only sober one in a group. The next day your friends can be like “so sorry for last night. I was wasted” and you have to be like “so sorry for last night. I was…of sound mind and still decided to do those same things”

This guy says that Jews control everything so I used my powers as a Jew to command him to leave.

Exactly one week after CA dropped mask mandates in healthcare and high-risk settings, my clinic calls me to reschedule my weekly IV therapy because.... all but two nurses that can give my treatment are out sick. Don't look up. Don't say covid. Do not connect to the dots.

Act now! Tell NYC Mayor's Office Adrienne Adams New York City Council to #InvestInLibraries. on.nypl.org/speakout2023tw

My friend once told me he was going to hang out with a buddy he “hadn’t seen since college”. That man had graduated 3 months before.

Yeah, I’ve paid for sex…9 months later!! Am I right?? Where my parents at?

Overheard in New York: “I used to fantasize about one day getting a selfie with him and now he’s been inside of me!”

Men, never accept a contract with Getty Images:

This is Jordan Neely. He was a Michael Jackson impersonator with a loving fan base, who documented his performances over the course of years. If you rode the subways in the last ten years and stumbled into a spry, joyful MJ, it was likely Neely. 🔗: m.youtube.com/watch?v=0al2FO…

I flossed today, and when I was done, I noticed there was blood on the floss. That must mean I need to floss more, because I haven’t eaten blood in weeks.

First review is in for my 7/2/24 picture book, PASTA PASTA LOTSA PASTA and it's a *great* one from Kirkus! They said it was "...an aria, expressed in rollicking verse..." and so many other lovely things. The whole review can be found at bit.ly/kirkus-pasta !

IN FRONT OF THE WHOLE GROUP?! The #TroubledTeenIndustry is w i l d d d! Lindsay Lucido spills the 🍵 on TTI!

I am *thrilled* to be sharing the details of my upcoming tour for the launch of my debut #picturebook, PASTA PASTA LOTSA PASTA, with my fellow rhyming #foodie writer, Lisa Frenkel Riddiough! More details can be found on my website, and I hope to see you there! #pasta #book #kidlit