Mean is ugly.

I like my women how I like my french fries. Hot, salty, and making me salivate.

Remember before the internet, we thought the cause of ignorance was the lack of access to information?

Just ban guns already... Bring back swords we'll see who real macho men are

I've never gotten out of a bean bag chair with my dignity intact.

What in God's name do people do with extra time they save by writing k instead of ok

Seeing people exercising outside my house really inspired me to get up and close the curtains.

I just shoved 25 Labubus up my ass

In the 90s we only had to worry about the rhythm of the night.

not suicidal but damn let's wrap this shit up

Smoking a joint laced with tylenol

You got autism from Tylenol. I got erectile dysfunction from White Castle. We are not the same.

Trick or Treat?? 🎃🕯️

Starting a band that sounds like fucking shit

What a weird-ass rapture. Only the Constitution disappeared.

Don't mess with my childlike wonder, bro.