Bedtime level: advanced

“Linda, please be serious for a moment. This is what we have to do until you learn to stay in your big girl bed. I’m going back to the nursery now. You can snuggle your velvet headboard if you get sad. Goodnight.”

Some fans on the ILTKU Facebook fixed this for us #mommytime

Congratulations on your brand new baby! The hard part is over, and now it’s time to rest and rejuvenate in clean, stylish clothing on your perfectly made bed. Maybe finish that novel you’ve been meaning to read! You’re on maternity leave, you have all the time in the world!

No proposal will ever live up to this so everyone stop trying

All of that yelling you hear is just us having so much fun doing backyard activities that my children love in our comfy coordinating outfits which my children also love. #quarantinewhimsy #pandemicgoals

ItsLikeTheyKnowUs FINALLY I can coordinate my quarantine outfits. Jesus, we've been crashing so much.

This is my quarantine uniform. The modest silhouette works for Zoom conferences because it is an oversized sweatshirt that makes me look like a shapeless, sentient potato. Anywho, sometimes I like to pair it with 11 glasses of wine, just to give it a little "kick"

A $200 dress no one will see AND a free sustainable face mask! Who needs a stimulus check with this kind of deal?!

It’s okay Mom, you relax while I wait patiently in my silver space bean. It doesn’t bother me in the slightest that I can see my favorite food source and yet am not being nursed. I know you are a separate person with your own unique needs, and not my personal milk slave.

Now the “things” you love most can smother you figuratively AND literally! #mothersday #momisjustbeaming #FOREVER

Is...is it because it knocks them unconscious? 😬 #nightnight

Monday’s are THE WORST. I have to find a clean hot pink silk couture robe even though our laundry service has been SEVERELY disrupted. Then, I only have 2-3 hours for professional cosmetic application to prepare for this Zoom while my invisible children entertain themselves. UGH.

Spoiler alert: you’re gonna yell

If you’re wondering how to start or continue this conversation with your children -

according to these stock photos i found on amazon, remote learning for my first grader is going to be a delight

New outdoor event! 🎉 8/17, relax on the lawn w/ picnicking, entertainment, & laughs headlined by humorist/writer Sara Given, creator of the viral #humor blog It's Like They Know Us. 🤣 Register ➡️ thurberhouse.org/outdoor-summer… #asseenincolumbus #columbus #funny #lol @OrangeSchubert