y’all be like “after work i meal prepped, did laundry, went to pilates, and read 3 chapters” like girl… after work i just stare at the ceiling for 45 mins.

I’ll do it

I feel like I look pretty hot today all things considered

What if the FL half penny tax became a full penny and we used that to pay teachers more?

You know in Peter Pan (2003) when the lost boys start chanting “old, alone, done for” at Captain Hook, that’s how I feel rn

Thinking about all the things I’ve had to watch bc my dad had the remote

God y’all are insufferable. Edward Sharpe and the magnetic zeroes made like one song and it was good. Coldplay is good. Imagine dragons is good. Hobo Johnson is fine. Yall’s lives suck bc you hate everything

Aside from American Vandal being very entertaining I think it’s also a commentary on true crime like Serial and the like which makes it 10x better

I had wondered where all the horrible drivers went and it turns out they weren’t taking their kids to school anymore so I missed them

3 seasons of television with only 8 episodes each over 7 years is bonkers

It’s wild to me that shows will hire dialect and accent coaches for every character except a southern accent. Like the actor will be like “howdy yall” and the director is like yes that’s amazing

My grandparents told me about a doctors appointment they had at 3:00 p.m. They are excellent retired persons. If you do not have a job, there’s no reason for you to take the early morning/lunch appointment times. You have nothing else to do but go to the doctor at that age

I know it’s “all of a sudden” but that doesn’t sound right to me so it’s “all of the sudden”

My millennial boss recently told me that sometimes I just respond with “tea” when she tells me work things and she knows what it means now but didn’t really get it and then today she told me she was thinking about making our daily team meetings only 3 days/week and I said “tea”

The young social media star to trad dad pipeline is unsettling

We’re at the point in the surveillance state where it’s possible for me to know if a place is busy before I leave my house. Tell me what % capacity Costco is at on your website you cowards

Last night a student at a meeting said “I think some people just become teachers or advisors or whatever just to hear themselves talk” and then looked dead at me

Ubers thinking they don’t have to park in a real parking spot outside literally any establishment and just pulling up on the curb and putting their hazards on is a endemic issue

Watching this doc and the IRS investigator just described wire fraud as “using the wires to perpetrate your fraud”

Gosh I’m so sorry but I’m not explaining anything to anyone