Sometimes for a day I’ll add a random person to my “close friends” story on IG just to confuse people

There should be 4 hours between 10 pm and midnight

reading was such a cornerstone of my childhood, so it breaks my heart that fewer children are reading for fun :( and will thus never experience the exhilaration that comes with staying up past your bedtime bc you can’t put a good book down

I love learning new things

just found out that 51 is divisible by 17 i feel fucking sick i can’t breathe

your honor that bitch is a weirdo

i know a guy in his 40s who’s handsome, super wealthy, throws huge parties at his long island mansion, war veteran, into jazz… and yet he spends many of his nights staring across the manhasset bay wondering why he’s unable to find true love is modern dating really this broken?

Confused about how Sydney Sweeney having good genes that gave her giant awesome boobs has anything to do with Nazis but what do I know

I have not even had a chance to breathe the last 3 weeks. I need a fucking break yall 😫

asked her what that mouth do and this bitch said argue

Why do old people collect those little spoons? You guys know what I mean

the intimacy of being goofy together

I’m so bad at “dating”. Talking to more than one man at once has never felt right to me.

i gotta stop acting insane & just be hot

George Santos absolutely sucks as an elected official but I can’t even lie, he’s pretty hilarious and sort of iconic in terms of pop culture. I wouldn’t even be mad if he was pardoned 😂

The amazing intern at my firm was sitting in front of the young woman who had a heart attack during the New York Bar Exam. No one helped her. He tried to and was told to stop. Proctors more concerned about people “cheating” than getting out of the way for paramedics. (Mind you

You know the plastic bags that don’t have any seal & are just sort of open? Why?

LegallyDirtyBlonde bestie that's peak libra energy