Considering starting a support group for introverts. There are no meetings.

Do you ever get road rage while walking behind someone moving slowly at the grocery store?

Me looking at the clothes in my closet that I refuse to get rid of: You never know

This can’t be the same body that used to be able to eat whatever I wanted without getting heartburn.

Welcome to your 30’s. You have a collection of grocery bags that you keep inside of a grocery bag now.

I’ve officially reached the age where i completely understand why my parents never wanted to stop for anything on the way home from work.

My favorite summer activity is going inside where there’s air conditioning.

My body: Water

Me: Coffee?

My body: Noooo. Water please.

Me: Coffee!!!

Here’s a list of all the places I can afford to go this summer:

1. My house

Sorry I snapped at you at the grocery store. The lights were too bright and there were people everywhere.

I need naps more now than I ever did as a kid.

My favorite part of self check out is when the worker stares at you while you do everything.

If you put me on speakerphone in public I will try to embarrass you.

Me: I want to go on a vacation.

My bank account: Good luck with that.

Am I just getting older or are people getting more annoying?

I still get irritated when I think about how people were hoarding toilet paper.

I don’t know about everyone else but I have never separated my clothes in the washing machine and I never will.

So far my year has been like a walk in the park. Jurassic Park.

Welcome to adulthood. You’re always tired.

I’m at a point in my life where I understand why the
Grinch wanted to live on a mountain far away from everyone else.