Sign Soto. Fire Boone. (As manager and into the sun.)

This is literally a heartwarming story about Tim Walz trying to help a troubled kid by encouraging him to keep playing football with the hope it would keep the kid out of trouble. Which is what good coaches do at high schools in every community in the country.

I legitimately believe a fumble by the offense out of the defense’s end zone like we just saw in Ohio State vs Penn State should be exactly like fumbling out of the offense’s end zone. Not just a touchback. Make it a safety. Don’t fumble.

First they came for Captain Crunch and I did not speak out because it hurts the roof of my mouth. Then they came for Cool Ranch Doritos and I did not speak out because I prefer Nacho Cheese. Then they came for Cheez-Its and I’M SPEAKING OUT.

Kentucky just handed it off on 3rd & 27 proving the coaching staff is incompetent because the offense’s best chance for a 1st down isn’t actually a completion but a defensive holding or pass interference.

Kentucky’s defensive line is the worst I’ve ever seen at finishing plays that should result in tackles for loss.

If Kamala wins I’m most excited to see what Doug does with his time as our nation’s first First Gentleman. I hope he puts an outdoor TV, a grill and a kegerator on the south portico and gets super into White House lawn care.

I would also enjoy it if he’s setting calendar reminders in his phone to replace the furnace filter and getting up on Saturday morning to clean the gutters before taking the limo in for an oil change.

Hey Steven Godfrey & Ryan Nanni, Y’all wanna come hang out with me and Kennon Ray Cull at the Vanderbilt - Kentucky baseball game this afternoon? Nice day for the final game of the regular season.

To: No Laying Up CC: D.J. Piehowski, Neil Schuster, Big Randy, Tron Carter Subject: ISCO Championship I’m on site and I can report the greens at Hurstbourne Country Club are firm. And fast. Zach Johnson might call them “lost.”

He’s always doin’ stuff, Neil Schuster!

Happy Ryder Cup week to those celebrating!

I’m sorry. He’s my guy, but JT is unplayable and shouldn’t be on the team.

Half the guys the US sent out in the opening session just can’t handle this event. Sheesh.

JT, Russell Henley, Collin and Harris English have to sit until Sunday because they can’t handle the pressure of the event and I don’t know if that’s possible.

A big problem for the U.S. Ryder Cup team to overcome is stinking at golf when their European opponents are good at golf.

Hey Kyle Porter, go ahead and post the Vince GIF.

That Justin Rose TIO relief is a disgusting perversion of the rules and an insult to the game and I call on Tron Carter and all of Europe to renounce it.

Credit where credit is due, Bryson battled and battled and battled and delivered one of the best Ryder Cup matches I’ve ever seen.

It’s 13.5 to 11.5 right now. I don’t care. I don’t care.