I’m shocked they haven’t killed that dude from El Salvador yet. He must have some incredibly sharp, loyal people close to him.

There are so many special moments when you’re a father. Moments you know you’ll treasure forever.

Like dropping your sons off for a brutal Saturday morning workout and then eating an ice cream cone in front of them while they sweat and suffer.

This killed me.

'Mr. President, you're losing ground with young voters. We need to do something to win back the youth.'

'Is that guy whose only notable film role dates to 1977 available?'

Sounds like a man who WANTS TO READ HIS BOOK IN PEACE WITHOUT BEING BOTHERED THE ENTIRE FLIGHT.

On the Right, we have an entertainment industry. On the Left, they have a serious movement. Conservatives laugh and look down on the blue-haired losers at campus protests, but their planning, organization and focus is well beyond anything the Right is capable of.

Trailer park. Trashy. No pico. Queso, no guacamole.

3 x 3. Animal style. No lettuce, no tomato, no pickle. Extra toasty on the bun.

I really am the greatest orderer of food on the planet. I can’t take all the credit. Menu Whispering is God-given.

Live free or die.

There’s a parallel about an approach to Iranian dictators and their proxies in here.

Tell them stories. Don’t list facts and names and dates. That’s not history. History is story-telling.

Don’t tell them about 300 Spartans. Ask them if they could picture themselves driving a spear into someone’s face.

They’ll pay attention.

People are overblowing the danger of the “antisemitism” bill. Not every law is something the government will use to abuse you at some point later on. Some laws are just great laws and they’ll never be abused.

After all, just look at The Civil Rights Act.

I just did a spot with Jesse Kelly, and I made him laugh so hard I didn't think he'd recover. You'll definitely want to catch the segment later!

Man, this was awesome.

I hate the idea of J.D. Vance because he’s one of the few good senators we have and Trump is gonna need him there more he needs him at VP. Just pick Tim Scott cause he’s useless wherever he lands.

One great history teacher can make more lasting impact on your life than any other subject.

If you had just ONE good one in your life, you love history. If you haven’t had that one, you THINK you hate history.

I had one. In the 6th grade. Changed my life.

If you wanted to stop the street activism in this country, you’d focus more on who’s financing it and less on the tubby English major on the quad.

But that would be hard. The easy thing is passing an “antisemitism” bill and pretending that makes you Oskar Schindler.

The fact that college liberals don’t know how to fasten wood or metal together in any other way besides zip ties might be the funniest aspect of this whole saga