Hats off to my doctor, who surgically removed my spine and replaced it with a coiled spring.

Chinese oculist posters, circa 1930

Imagine telling this story without proof: “I didn't go to work because a cat fell on my head and then a dog with shoes tried to do me justice.”

There are very few good movies about writers. They are: Romancing the Stone, Misery, The Shining, Stand By Me, Barton Fink. Have I missed any?

At what age should Wanging Chung stop?

Way won’t aliens abduct me? What do I lack? What more must I achieve?

Everyone is all stressed so I am watching steve Martin 1984

Just fell out of a window and a thousand cats licked my face.

Husband: Get dressed! I’m taking you to dinner! Me: (Searches closet for my most elegant tracksuit)

Just bought two SAD lamps for my EAD (England Affective Disorder), as the sun never comes out in the North of England. This place is ideal for vampires.

Iris Smyles One story in and this is already 🤌

Husband just told me he really enjoyed Mrs. Doubtfire. I feel like he should have told me this way earlier.

I ate too many dumplings and I need to tell someone.

The next season of #thewhitelotus should take place at a resort that’s been sharply discounted due to all the murders always happening at White Lotus chains.

Make up is an arms race. #disarmament

Liverpool parade: Car drives into crowd of celebrating football fans - Police cordon in place gbnews.com/news/liverpool… David Atherton

We’ve been together for 2 and a half years and tonight he finally popped the question: “Do you think the moon landing was staged?”

Breast feeding and watching Lord of the Flies on BBC iplayer. What are you up to?