Merry Christmas for tomorrow, may your dinners be dwarf-free.

Merry Christmas everyone. I got some socks, which is better than last year when I got a tangerine.

In case you're wondering, we did substitute the man flesh for turkey this year.

Calling your penis 'Smaug' because it burns down cities and ruins families.

If you don't ride horses I feel bad for you son, I got 99 problems but Helms Deep ain't one

If you're talking about dragons, I feel bad for you son, I got 98 arrows because Smaug took one.

Boxing Day sales down in Isengard. Bringing out my bow

You didn't hear it from me but Saruman has a tattoo on a private area that says "No Admittance except on party business"

King Theoden always wins battles because he's got a Roplan.

Thorin, Fili and Kili open a hair salon called Durin's Hairs

Sewage leak in Imladris. Rivensmell

Glaurung>Smaug #HipsterFandomOpinion

Can we talk about how Bofur almost died whilst picking herbs

"You never know what you had until it's gone" -Smeagol

It's a jolly holiday with Frodo, Frodo makes Sam's heart so nice.

"I don't see nothing wrong with a little bump and grind" -Éowyn

New Year's Resolutions: Give up man flesh

Rivendell have gone fucking insane with the fireworks this year #MiddleEarthNewYear

What's the best dwarf chat-up line? We were Ereborn for each other.

I'm playing the role of Cupid this Valentine's day, if anyone needs shooting.